The internet is Evil (with a capital E)

Really? This is the best you can do? You're just going to sit there and read this first sentence, skip forward a few paragraphs until you find a bullet point list, and then move back to your insipid Reddit feed?

Not that you're going to process anything here in the first place. Not really. You're going to read everything on here, not because there's intrinsic value in what I have to say, but because I challenged you in that first paragraph. So instead you're going to take this written abuse as fast as possible -- rip it off like a band-aid -- and return to browsing your life into shambles.

Why is this going to happen? Because you've structured your entire life around the constant overwhelming flow of internet content. Your identity is built on the fact that this system will provide you with a drip feed of stuff with barely passable quality margins. Oh sure you'll find a few great things here and there, but that doesn't change the fact that you move onto the next thing nearly as fast as you would with something lower quality.

It's not about the quality, it's about the fact that it's there in the first place. You degenerate fuck, cultivating this obsession with content you don't even care about just so that you can fill your own empty life with as much garbage as possible. Not that you've given yourself time to build fulfilling experiences, what with you having done this since childhood.

And believe me, you don't care about the content. You hardly even care about this, let alone all the other crap you consumed on the way over to this. Do you even remember the subject matter of the thing you looked at three things before this one?

Just look at yourself. Your identity is fucked like it's two dollar night at the shady strip club down the street. How's that for a zinger? Liked that line didn't you? Good god, you're pathetic. Even your sense of humor has been trained to conform to snappy one liners that fit into your intense schedule of consuming content so vapid that it's literally, no joke, ripping your individuality out of your fucking eyeballs.

Because at this point you've forgotten, or more likely never learned, how to think your own thoughts. Like some dystopian nightmare where everything you do needs explicit approval, you constantly seek validation through the internet. Get an idea, ask yourself what other's think of it, and then go to the top upvoted search result and read the comments talking about it.

You're not immune to it just because you don't comment yourself, either. Nah, you're not going to participate in the discussion but you'll still change your behavior to match the expectations.

The absurd discomfort you have upon thinking about something even slightly novel is enough to drive you to seek immediate validation. And if your thought doesn't conform to what the top comments say, if it isn't exactly in line with the bubble you've placed yourself into since childhood, then you discard it. The idea of being someone you aren't expected to be is foreign to your brainstate, you parasite.

I mean that as an objective analysis of your actions, by the way. Parasite. Because all you do is assimilate other's opinions as your own. You go to the blog, the YouTube channel, the big Twitter fuckers, integrate whatever shit opinions they shat out, and move on. Don't try to process anything beyond vague acceptance. Don't you dare.

But I'm not getting through to you am I? No. Your illness runs deeper than that. You've cultivated it through decades of self delusion, apathy, and habit. Do you even want to be better? Do you really want to be someone that you truly value? Or is that just me influencing you with my opinion?

What do you want? Do you want attention? To be the best in X field? To read every book in the library? Death via bliss drug overdose? Have you ever really asked yourself, honestly and without flinching at the answer, "What is it that I desire?" Or has your answer to that question always been cultivated in the fields of other's opinions who have already plowed it for you?

There's a thought -- one that I've had for you, by the way -- how about you have some fucking dignity for your values, huh? Yeah, values. You know, the things you care about? I know it's hard to see through the haze of how you expect others to react to this blog post, but calm down and think for a moment.

Who am I kidding. You're hopeless. I know your kind. You're going to laugh along with this like you understand the "joke", pretend to have come to some profound conclusion, and then when the next impulse to open up Discord comes along you'll forget it in favor of the deeply engraved habit of mindless soul-ripping rectangle gazing.

Forget. Get a useless message from an internet friend and forget. Get bored for a single moment and forget. Forget your indignation. Why shouldn't you? There's a million other things out there that conform your niche needs of self-delusion, after all.

Nothing is interesting enough for you to focus on anyways, not the contradictions intentionally placed in this post nor the fact that it's obviously directed towards my own neurotic behavior. You notice those things now, since I told you outright, but would you have ever cared enough to think about it in that level of detail on your own? It doesn't even have to be this post that you critically think about, just imagine anything at all in your feed being worthwhile enough to warrant that level of consideration.

You can't escape it even for a second. Even when you're taking a shit you still have to have a fucking rectangle in your hands. Like every moment in your life needs a constant distraction less you... what? What will happen? You don't know, because you've never fucking tried it.

In the absurd off chance that you actually want to change for the better, you're not going to do it right. Instead of doing something significant you're going to pretend. You'll go onto r/DecidingToBeBetter, or onto an inspirational Tumblr, or whatever bullshit you stumble upon; you'll copy a long ass inspirational post with a million upvotes into a folder labeled "plans" on your desktop and trick yourself into thinking that this time will be different.

Wrong. It'll be the same as the last 10 times you tried to change this year: a crashing, wailing, desperate, anguished flash of motivation followed by the first obstacle that actually shows problems or promise, followed by you relapsing back into your confusing mess of comforting rationalizations and easiest-viable-option habits you always fall into.

And here's the kicker, this is supposed to be the part where I give you the "true" advice, where I tell you how to "actually" be successful. That's the pattern, right? Where I abuse with with my words and then ease off the pressure with empty platitudes? Yeah, fuck you. You get no advice. You already know how to change, you're just not going to do it. Load up Reddit, go numb, and stop thinking about the void for another 30 minutes.

-Tim

P.S. You can slip deeper into delusion with this post's vapid companion piece: The internet is Epic (with a capital E).